Pretty Good People (revisited)

Let's go back a ways.

My sister recently commented on a Facebook note I wrote about a year and a half ago. She said that it had really impacted her, and she still thought about it fairly frequently. I was kinda surprised by this, but I read through it and found myself somewhat convicted by my own words. Thought I'd share what I had written. Hope you can get something good out of it.

The note reads as follows:



Have you ever asked someone what they think of the way they live their lives, what they think of their moral character? The answers you get are somewhat amusing (if you have the right sense of humor), because they're all the same. Most everyone thinks that they're a pretty good person. Not a really good person, not a bad person. A pretty good person.

The reason everybody says this is because it's easy to think of someone who you can call a worse person. The guy who cheats on his wife can say he's still a pretty good person because he doesn't deal drugs. The student who cusses like a sailor and drinks like a fish can say he's still a pretty good person because he doesn't cheat on his tests. Anyone can come up with a rationalization that puts them in the middle of the herd and makes them a pretty good person. Because no one wants to believe that they're doing something wrong, but nobody wants to be too good.

Here's the bad news. Our goodness isn't based on how the people around us act. It's based on the bar that God sets for us. And that bar is very, very high. Check it out...

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity or of greed because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving."
~Ephesians 5:3-4

When I read this I realized that I fall way short. I'd always thought of myself as a pretty good person. I don't get smashed or do drugs, I don't sleep with girls, I don't murder or burglarize. Those verses, though, reminded me of how high the bar is and how often I fail to meet it. It's not a trite little Wheaton phrase like "being broken for God" that makes you feel all spiritual when you say it. It's something much more visceral, much harsher, much less roll-off-your-tongue-at-a-revival. It's the simple fact that but for Jesus, I would be a miserable failure.

Hence, a call to action. Don't get caught up in the trap of thinking that you're a pretty good person. Don't let yourself and your faith stagnate because you're an alright guy (or girl). Instead, "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and [...] run with perseverance the race marked out for us." (Heb 12:1) Live your life in a way that is as pleasing to God as you can possibly make it, and keep a sharp eye out for things that hinder and entangle you. It's rarely easy, and not always a lot of fun, but it's the only route to true joy and lasting peace.

"Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise,"
~Ephesians 5:15

Driven

raindrops on flesh, tears unshed
rolling thunder, stifled screams
lightning, the kiss of pain

guided by Unknown
regret? misery? loneliness?
can’t see through the gray

I remember the Road,
but the Road has forgotten me
my tracks replaced by others

the Fork

to the right, the place I loved
if only for a little while
my feet knew it well

to the left, an empty field
hides nothing, holds nothing, hinders nothing
my feet know it well

long for the right
watch it over my shoulder
as I walk down the left

The Fair!

A fair is a veritable smorgasbord, orgasbord, orgasbord.


I went on a trip to the fair recently with some good friends of mine. It's been a while since I've been to a fair/carnival. My family hasn't attended the city fair for a couple years, and I generally avoid the carnival at the waterfront like the plague. Too many trashy people for my tastes.

I had a really great time at this fair, though. The cruise over was enjoyable and relaxing. When we got to the fair, we hit up the rides right away. Since we arrived in the afternoon, the lines were pretty much nonexistent, so we rode all the rides we felt like. After one of our brave crew got sick from some over-zealous spinning, we went and tracked down some delicious, fattening fair food and sat in the cool car while we ate it. The rest of the afternoon and evening consisted of lots of looking at and petting animals, browsing fair exhibits, more fair food, and more rides. All in all, a great time.

I'd forgotten how much fun the fair could be.

Waiting

Party now, settle later?

I've chatted with a friend or two recently about the mindset that many people seem to have regarding dating. It seems that people my age are interested in "having fun" with their dating. What does that translate to? It means girls date the bad guys and assholes. It means guys chase whoever will sleep with them. They'll "settle down" in 10 years or so when they decide they want a family. Then they'll find the nice guy/girl who'd make a good father/mother and marry them. I've heard this sort of sentiment expressed more than once, albeit not in that many words, and I've talked to friends who have picked up the same vibe as well.

I'm the type of guy who gets told by all the older women (mom's of friends, aunts, etc.) that I'll be "such a good father!" I hate the "good father" label; it translates to undateable, undesirable, and unattractive in the eyes of every dateable, desirable, and attractive girl. But I am who I am. I can't and won't pretend to be something I'm not just to get girls. I'm guess I'm the type who's just supposed to wait 10 years.

That idea has always pissed me off. I couldn't put my finger on the exact reason, but the thought of having to wait around for years for people to settle down seemed grossly unfair. Regardless, I knew that I wasn't going to do it. I'm not the subservient dog who waits patiently for his owner's arrival and then jumps up and wags his tail when she finally gets there. Forget it.

The other day, though, I was standing in the shower and this issue started rolling around in my head again. Maybe shampoo is beneficial for the thinking process, cause I think I finally figured out what bothers me so much about the "bad guys/girls now, fathers/mothers later" mindset. It's all about you.

Every part of the mindset if focused on you and what you want. I want to have "fun" right now so I'm going to date the guy/girl who'd be good for that. I want to get married and have a family, so I'm going to find a guy/girl who'd be good for that. I, I, I. It never takes into consideration what your spouse might think or feel about everything you do. It never worries that they might be sitting in loneliness and misery while you were having your fun. It never puts their welfare before your own.

But who cares what they think? Nothing compares to the all-important edifice that is you, right?