Told You So

Everyone does stupid things.

I recently witnessed a couple of different "I told you so" moments. I wasn't directly involved in either moment, though, which allowed me to observe the ways that different people handled the situation.

We all get into situations that are not good for us. Sometimes they involve responsibilities we shouldn't have, sometimes they involve relationships we shouldn't bother with, sometimes they involve activities that we shouldn't do. What's worse, oftentimes our friends will point out to us the foolishness of our own actions. As often as not, we laugh off or ignore these warnings, despite the fact that our friends can often see things better than we can by virtue of being distanced from them.

Eventually (or at least hopefully), we come to realize that our friends were right and that ________ was a dumb idea. We have to go to our friends and say "this was a dumb idea". This scene is what I witnessed.

In one scene, the friend said "Yes! Yes it was! I told you so, but you didn't listen!" I didn't feel good watching this response. The person had suffered enough already as a result of their own decisions. Rubbing in the fact that they had been warned seemed a little cruel/self-serving.

In the other scene, the friend responded with "Really? Why do you say that?" The person admitting fault then explained what their own thoughts and feelings on the situation were. This way of handling the situation was vastly better. If someone admits a dumb mistake to you, and they've already suffered as a result of that decision, responding with care and compassionate concern, casting aside any inclination to flaunt your own correctness, is the way to go.

So call it a reminder to all of you out there... if someone admits a mistake to you that you saw days or weeks or months or years ago, squash the urge to laugh in their face. It's not what they need. Talk to them, help them through the consequences of their mistake if that's what they need, and above all, show them love. Cause we're all human, and we all make mistakes.