Meditate

Ummm... yeah.

Residence Life, my all knowing task masters and employers, decided in their infinite wisdom that they needed another way to make my life miserable. And by that, I mean another rigid, artificial way to try to measure and quantify the relationships I develop with my residents.

There have been several renditions of a similar sort before this. First were the SSIs. Then came the TPSs. Now we're onto the SIRs. It's almost like they think that if they switch the TLA enough times, it might suddenly become useful.

Anywho, I was tasked with writing down something about every resident I'm responsible for. It could be basis stuff like their major and hobbies, but when you have a bunch of guys who you just greet in the halls, that can be hard to remember. So I resorted to going around and banging on doors.

I wasn't subtle about it either. I was like "hey, Res Life has this stupid thing for me to do. What's your major?" Maybe that wasn't what Res Life was hoping for, but that's what they're getting.

Anywho, I knocked on the door of one of my residents. After a short pause, a tired-sounding "cooome in..." ghosted through the door.

I don't like it when residents don't answer their door in person. It seems lazy to me, especially because they have no clue who it is, but whatever. I stomped in.

A pungent odor immediately assaulted my nostrils. If you've spent some time around certain types of people, you'd recognize this scent pretty quickly. It's hard to miss. Lemme give you a hint...


Oh yeah. It was rank in there.

I wasn't really sure how to react. My brain just kinda ground to a halt as I stood in the doorway, debating whether or not I should mention it or call the cops or do something wildly outrageous. In the end, I decided that the necessary evidence to bring in higher authorities wasn't really there, so I just asked him some questions. It went sometime like this...

Me: "So... uh... what's your major?"

Baked Resident: "Uhhh, Vet Tech, man..."

Me: "Umm, okay. What's something you like to do in your spare time or some kind of hobby or something?"

Baked Resident: "...I like to... meditate. Yeah." *witless laugh*

Baked Resident's Friend: *equally witless laugh*

Me: "Well... alright. Thanks guys, see you around."

So that's what I put on my SIR form. "Vet Tech major, likes to meditate." I had the brief urge to but something like "Vet Tech major, loves smoking the reefer," but I figured that kind of thing probably wouldn't go over especially well. Either way, it was definitely a one-of-a-kind experience.