"I said not long before that work and weakness are comforters. But sweat is the kindest creatures of the three--far better than philosophy, as a cure for ill thoughts."
C.S. Lewis got it right, man.
I'm a runner. I'm not exactly a super dedicated runner like my dad, who trains for marathons and loves running races. To be honest, I've never understood why he (and others in my family) like races so much. They've never appealed to me.
That's probably reflective of why I run. I don't run for the joy of running or because it's a challenge. I run partly because I want to be in good shape, but the other part of why I run is, much like C.S. Lewis said, as a cure for ill thoughts. I run because it gives me time to think, helps me blow off some steam, and leaves me feeling good and worn out.
I also prefer running at night to running during the day. It's quieter at night. There's nobody mockingly cat calling me if I take off my shirt to stay cool. The few lights provide a nice ambiance. It's much easier to find peace of mind in the darkness.
Tonight I went out for a run. I'd been out of the groove for a week or so and even though I'd run yesterday, I needed to keep getting back into it. My mind was a little restless, too; too many troubling thoughts and silly hopes and foolish regrets rolling around upstairs. I needed to get out and sweat it out. I headed out at about 2:30, way after sane people are in bed. It was dark, quiet, and misting rain... perfect.
As I ran tonight, I stumbled upon a moment of beauty. I was running into the wind, enjoying the soft sting of rain and the cool breeze. The lights were warm and muted, wrapped in blurry orange halos of luminescence. The quiet was broken only be the chill music I was listening to, and even that seemed secondary. For a while, I actually ran with my eyes closed, just savoring the night and the moment. In that moment, I felt the presence of God. It was nothing overt or flashy... it was just a simple reminder of God's peace and presence.
It's good to know that, even when some things in life don't work out the way you would have liked them to and you're miserable and frustrated and lonely, God is there, in the stillness.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
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1 comments:
I'm glad you had a good run. My knees still prevent me from running, and that is what I miss the MOST about it--the time alone to think and sort things out. The chance to work my body to its physical limit somehow always helps clear my mind, too.
One of the best runs I ever went on was my sophomore year of college. I was super stressed, and kind of at my wit's end. I was running early in the morning, which, in the winter, means running in the dark (I agree--so much better). I was really frustrated, and maybe even started crying while I was running, I don't remember. But near the end of the run, I looked up. It was a clear night, and the stars were stunning. And somehow, it hit me at that moment: the God who put those stars there, who made the entire universe, who is vastly more powerful than I can imagine, loves me. He cares for me. He watches over me. It was AMAZING. Oh, I remember now--that's when I started crying. :-)
It was just like in the song "Reach": You put the stars in the sky, You know every grain of sand. But You reach...for ME.
I love you, Mike, and I'm praying for you. And God is with you.
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