On the Odd Proportions of the Awkward Engineer

Revelation has been given to me.

So I'm a working man now.  A real, bona fide engineer who does all kinds of captain-y things.  Okay, actually I just sit around and bug the people who actually know what's going on and are good at stuff.  Whatever.

Anywho, as an engineer, I'm around a lot of other engineers.  And among those other engineers are a number of awkward engineers.  These men seem to exude awkward energy from there very pores, projecting it out onto those around them so that as you walk by, you feel the slight a slight cringe run down your spine.  The awkward force is strong with these ones.

Now I was wondering to myself one day, "What makes an awkward engineer so different from the rest of us?  Why are there some guys who seem totally chill and relaxed and others who leave you shaking with the sheer power of their oddity?"  For a while, it was a mystery that I could not solve.

Until one day, I was walking down the hall and it hit me.  It's all a matter of proportions.  Allow me to illustrate.  In our first example, I present to you a normally proportioned engineer.

Well, he's poorly drawn, so maybe he's not perfectly proportioned, but he'll serve our purposes.  Alright, now we're going to perform some science on this guy to make him awkward.  Step one: the waistline.

Woah!  Did it suddenly get more awkward in here?  This guys seems to think so.  But wait, we can do more!

Oh yeah!  Look at those shoulders!  That hunched posture is practically screaming awkward!  It's as though he shambles through the abandoned cubicles day after day, preying upon the social graces of those unfortunate enough to stumble into his dark domain.  Let's just add the finishing touches now...

He is complete!  Look upon his wretched form!  Bask in the radiance of his awkwardness!  We walk in the garden of his turbulence!  Yaaaaaaa!

As some of you may have noticed, the key to the awkward engineer's awkwardness is a matter of proportions.  To increase the awkwardness, you must simply push some of the normal dividing lines of the human form UP.  Waistline, shoulders, hairline, and the bottom of the pants legs.  Move every one of those up about 4 inches and BAM!  Instant awkwardness.

And now you know.